I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
