If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
