Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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