Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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