I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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