I want to have your abortion
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
