i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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