a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
