You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
