What a fucking waste of an outfit
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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