Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
