white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
