U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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