you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
