dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This is my gift to your gina
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
