My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
