i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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