How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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