is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
