i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
