Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
