This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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