the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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