we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
