Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
