i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
