Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
