i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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