I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
