Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
