I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
is that a dick in a sweater?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
