why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
