You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This baby is an asshole
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
