so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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