I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
no you cant smoke seaweed
Come see our sink grown plant.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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