okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
