Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
