Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
