I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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