My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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