In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
