I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
