Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
