Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
