fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
