well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
