Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
