are you still at the devil's house?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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