jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
