I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
