his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
