I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
