i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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